


The Birth of Bess Tudor -the Tudor Rose

by AnnaCipactli12



Category: History - Fandom, The Tudors (TV)
Genre: F/M, Introspection, Personal Growth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-29
Updated: 2015-12-29
Packaged: 2018-05-10 03:14:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5568703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnaCipactli12/pseuds/AnnaCipactli12
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is a flame in all of us. A time when we leave childish things behind, mine came after a personal betrayal when I ceased being Lizzie and little Bess, the people pleaser and became Bess, my mother's daughter and the lion's cub.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Birth of Bess Tudor -the Tudor Rose

 

There are times when you wonder if people will ever listen or remember you as the great person that you are -or that you try so hard to be. That is what it has been like for me.

People say that I lie, that I am not as smart because I haven't been visited as many places as my father's courtiers and my dad and I will debate, and then he will say something I don't like, I will get upset and he will complain that I am too much like my mother.

But I wonder if my mother wouldn't have done the same? From what Kat and others tell me about her, she would get temperamental as well and they say that is why she lost her head. But didn't Mary's mother get temperamental as well?

Probably I am just a cry-baby. Probably I should just man-up like the dream Prince my father wishes me, my sister and even Edward would be, but I also have to be true to myself and accept what I am. I often hear Edward's maternal aunt, Lady Somerset tell him to not be afraid to show off his intelligence because it is a sign of what a great King he will be when our father passes away.

To talk of the King that way, when he is still alive, is dangerous but the Countess doesn't mind. I can already see it in her and her husband's eyes that they are just waiting for the right time when my father dies so they can take power and become the most powerful people in the land.

The two style themselves after Mary's parents and our ancestors, Eleanor of Aquitaine and Henry II, but they are nothing like them. Isabella and Ferdinand won the respect of their people by going out there and meeting them, and Eleanor and Henry, the same. They didn't court to the powerful.

But maybe I am getting ahead of myself. Maybe they will be good rulers. (Yeah, my brain tells me. Pulling Edward's strings) Everyone always tells me I am wrong, that I am too young, that I am dumb, that I am not as advanced as others.

I can speak many languages, I am not a scholar, but I know a lot of things. If I wanted to, I could raise my voice and my head up high like those know-it-alls who pride in their rebelliousness, but I don't because I know what would happen to me if I do.

Well, not surprisingly I lost more friends. Two years ago something happened that made so many people in a reading circle I had made. My friends took up a fight against this lady (whose name I will not speak, but if I ever have the means to do something, she will regret having spoken to me in that tone of voice, and the same goes for the others) and this lady enlisted the help of one of our newer members and all hell broke loose. As the leader and someone who has royal blood flowing through her veins, they looked up to me and forced me to take sides.  
Initially I was going to play the good girl again -like father always says smart women who know what is good for them should do- but then I thought 'do I want to play this role all my life?' Kitty had played the role of the good girl and look where that got her. So did Mary's mother and my mom. (I don't care what people say of her, she had been a good girl who read conduct books and even exhorted her maids to read on religious books instead of their silly poetry books and kept an English translation of the bible for everyone to read.) I was tired of playing the good girl. From now on, if I had to play one role, it would be one I crafted for myself and no one else.

God, I told these girls, helps those who help themselves. And with that, I told them that it was better they put their differences aside over something so petty -that I admit, I could have been more supportive but I wasn't thinking clearly then- and work to keep on discussing theological issues which was the whole point of our group. 

They didn't agree. Some things were said. Ten of them said that I really disappointed them. They had shown me kindness, they had treated me like their family and I had betrayed that trust choosing our new members over them. 

They are right ... in a way.

They were good to me. I enjoyed the times we spent together. And I didn't return their kindness as I probably should have. But to say that I betrayed them, that I was the worst person they had ever met. That I was fake, is entirely false.

I did my best to please everyone. I tried to work my way into that conflict by making everyone put aside their differences, and even dislikes for one another and not add more wood to the fire-place, but instead it got worse.

 ** _"You can't please anyone Bess. That is the one thing your mother understood."_ ** Kat told me. And she was right. Trying to play 'best friend' and being genuinely kind got me in trouble.

 _ **No more.**_ From now on, if someone wants my help, they are going to have to give me something in return. And if I want to get something, I will use my face, my smile, the kind eyes I inherited from my mother to get what I want. Because in this world, there are always big league and small league players and those in between who get hurt by either one. I was not going to be in the middle anymore.

Mary has her pride, Edward has his tutors, I have my smile and with it, I can get people to believe what I want them to believe and nobody will think twice about giving me what is mine, and those who step over me, I can just use my face and my words as a shield and a weapon to turn others against them.

**The End**


End file.
